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What Is Surefire Intelligence And Why Does The Phone Go To Jacob Wohl's Mom?

Jacob Wohl, failed "hedge fund manager," appears to have set up a fake company called "Surefire Intelligence." Jacob doesn't seem too bright.
What Is Surefire Intelligence And Why Does The Phone Go To Jacob Wohl's Mom?
Image from: Screen shot

This is a really weird story and I am not quite sure where to start, so I will begin in the most logical place:

Earlier today news broke about a plot launched by a GOP operative, Jack Burkman, to manufacture and pay off at least one woman to lie and say that Robert Mueller sexually harassed her back in the 1970's while she worked for him as a paralegal at a private law firm. As soon as the story hit the news, the Special Counsel's representative confirmed that upon learning of this false story, they referred it to the FBI for investigation.

Jacob Wohl is another player in this story, a moron (or a "child" as correctly describes him as) and failed hedge fund manager (who was reportedly banned for life from the National Futures Association early in his career).

Even though he denies it, Jacob associated with a company called "Surefire Intelligence", a shady company that states it was “founded by two members of Israel’s elite intelligence community” and that they can be hired for “counter intelligence,” “private spies,” and “ethical hackers.”

WUT.

Ok, let's take a look at the staff of this "company":

The Managing Partner, Matthew Cohen, sure looks a lot like...Jacob Wohl

Odd. Jacob Wohl says he doesn't know nuttin' about Surefire Intelligence, the firm tied to the bizarre Mueller allegations. Take a look at the photos below of Mathhew Cohen, head of 'Surefire,' and of Jacob Wohl.

— Jane Mayer (@JaneMayerNYer)

And their Private Investigator is a model, apparently:

Surefire Intelligence's LA "Private Investigator" is British model/photographer Nick Hopper.

— Aric Toler (@AricToler)

Their Head of Government Relations is also a model (lots of models working in private intelligence work, apparently):

Surefire Intelligence's "Head of Government Relations" also works as a model for stock photos.

— Aric Toler (@AricToler)

Their Financial Investigator is actor Christoph Waltz. I guess he is moonlighting now:

Surefire Intelligence's "Financial Investigator" in Zurich is Christoph Waltz. What a great hire!


↓ Story continues below ↓

— Aric Toler (@AricToler)

Their Deputy Director of Operations is a Minister. Does God approve?:

Surefire Intelligence's "Deputy Director of Operations" is a minister from Michigan.

— Aric Toler (@AricToler)

The Tel Aviv Station Chief is a supermodel

Surefire Intelligence's "Tel Aviv Station Chief" is an Israeli supermodel

— Aric Toler (@AricToler)

I found a Medium post written under the pseudonym, Matthew Cohen:

Twitter had fun:

New from me + + :

A company called “Surefire Intelligence” has ties to this Mueller smear.

Jacob Wohl denied having ties to Surefire.

Surefire’s official phone number redirects to a voicemail box registered to Jacob's mom.

— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__)

YES, the phone number rings to Jacob Wohl's MOM

Picturing Jacob Wohl’s Mom fielding all of these calls right now and it is extremely gratifying.

— Sleeping Giants (@slpng_giants)

Told my 10-year old the Jacob Wohl story on the way home from school.

He did a full two-handed facepalm.

“His fake company phone number redirected to HIS MOM’S PHONE?! Dude, are you kidding? You never list your mom’s phone! That’s so basic.”

So. Basic. 🤣😂☺️😂

— The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer)

I’m at a hipster coffee shop in Downtown LA and everyone is talking about how Jacob Wohl runs Surefire Intelligence and how Wohl is gonna go to jail for trying to pay women to say Robert Mueller sexually assaulted them.

— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum)

Chris nails it

Can you die from cringing? Because I’m reading this Surefire Intelligence reporting and pretty sure I’m close.

— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes)

about the intrepid Mr. Wohl and his "intelligence" firm.

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